4 days

I can think of more reasons for why I want to stay in Mexico than ones for coming home. It's going to be a really hard week. My life here has opened up so many more possibilities for my future, and that's why I originally came here, but all I can think about is having to leave my new family and my new town. I've grown so accustomed to speaking spanish with everyone, every day, that I worry I won't remember to speak english when I open my mouth now. I am really going to miss the walks to the centro, the shops with quirky gifts to buy, the gelato shop on 5 de mayo street, the homemade comida every day, the fresh fruit that I've never even heard of before, and so much more. This past weekend we went on a trip to the Sierra Gorda, a gorgeous, lush forest region of the state of Queretaro, and it really made me want to stay here even more. The first day we went on a hike to a waterfall which we were able to swim in, and it was absolutely gorgeous. The hike was almost comparable to forests of Oregon, but full of tropical vegetation and a climate that Oregon can't compare to. The water was cold, but with the humidity it was just perfect, and standing right under a giant waterfall was something I've never done before, and it was memorable to say the least. We stayed in a beautiful hotel in a tiny town called Jalpan, which like all other Mexican towns, had a pretty little centro where fun activities were taking place like always. That particular night was a night for young adolescent aged kids to show off their talent, basically like a town-wide talent show, and some of those kids could sing! I was amazed, and also slightly upset over returning home while I listened to a boy singing a sad song with his acoustic guitar while I sipped hot chocolate at an outside cafe table. The next day we went to a strange phenomenon of a river, it is two rivers, one cold and one very warm, which meet to form one larger river at a fork, and it's very strange to walk from a warm stream to a cold stream within 30 seconds of each other. The part that joins together was also peculiar, standing in one spot I could feel a mixture of the two waters, and every so often it would switch between being more cold and more warm. The water there was a beautiful clear, blue green color which was comparable to Hawaii's oceans. We also spent a good majority of time swimming and playing in the hotel pool, which was memorable. After our silly pool races I think we all really got to know each other and our resident director, Dawn, a whole lot better. This week of school so far has been awfully brutal, essays, tests, presentations and more, but I don't think anything could make me want to leave. If I could have my closest family and friends here I wouldn't need to ever leave. If only it were that simple. But alas, I will be back to the U.S. Saturday night, and back into my old life. I'm sure once I get there I'll be more excited to be home, but right now all I can worry about is the nostalgia I'll feel for my new home once I'm back to my old one.

2 weeks

I can't decide if I'm more excited to go home, or if I'm more sad to leave here. It's been such a crazy 4 weeks, and only 2 to go. It has definitely been busier than I imagined. Between classes from 8:30-2 every day of the week and weekend trips every weekend (except this one, yay!) I haven't had a single moment to process exactly what I've been doing here, and how I've been feeling about it. The first week is now a complete blur of trying to communicate with my family, starting classes that I thought were too advanced for me, stumbling on my words when ordering food in spanish, and running down buses that won't stop for white girls with backpacks. I wish I had written more so that I could go back and read it all, hoping it would come back to my memory. I remember the awe and shock of Mexico City when we first arrived, and the dread of being back on our first weekend trip. It wasn't the city so much that I disliked, it's beautiful and I've never seen such elegant buildings anywhere else. It was the people, 24 million of them to be exact, the smell of rotted trash and sewage that lingers everywhere, the smoggy heat that leads to sticky skin, but no sun because it's hiding behind the pollution. Our weekend trip (8/5-7) was a jumble of pyramids, hotels, museums, murals and restaurants. It was a very go, go, go, no time to stop, no time to think type weekend, and I barely had time to realize I was seeing, in person, some of the art works I had always wanted to see. Our second weekend trip, the one to Guanajuato, was definitely well-remembered. I know with every fiber in my being that I will be back to that town. It was the most gorgeous place I've ever seen, and it had a certain charm about it that was indescribable.
I really wish I could sit in Mexico and just soak up spanish like I could a sun tan. I am feeling a bit of regret over not pushing my spanish-speaking limits as far as I know I could have, but once I'm in the moment, it's a little terrifying to do, especially when I'm far too worried about making mistakes. I know they happen anyway, but it's hard to allow whenever possible. It's far easier to stay silent at times than try  to communicate things I don't know how to communicate. My vow to myself at this point, with two weeks left, is to push myself harder. With speaking spanish, with studying and doing homework, with spending time with my family, with everything I have been trying to do, but not doing to my full capacity. Let's see how things turn out two weeks from now!

Mixed feelings

I haven't written anything new in a while, and there's only one reason for that. THERE ARE ONLY 24 HOURS IN EVERY DAY!! And each day seems more jam packed than the last. I don't know how we're expected to dedicate 4+ hours a day on homework when we're in another country! It's almost impossible to get everything done and also have time to sleep, eat, talk to my family, etc. We have almost 3 whole weeks left here, which is good in the sense that I still have time to try and get to know some mexican people my age, go shopping in the amazing centro, maybe go out for a beer or two?? But my worry is that these next few weeks will come and go and I'll be feeling the same after the program is over as I am now. But on a positive note, I love my family here, I love the city, I love the weekend trips, and I love the food! My family always has great authentic, homemade mexican food for comida, and everywhere else I've eaten has been nothing short of an experience! I am excited to come home and share my experiences with everyone, but at the same time I am very sad to be leaving this great home that I've become part of. My nights at home usually consist of my family and I hanging out watching TV together in my abuela's room, eating ice cream with cookies, and chatting about our day. It's almost too good to be true. I will definitely be coming back to visit as soon as I can. Last weekend we had a trip to Guanajuato, a city that's pretty close to ours, about 2 hours in a bus, and it was the most beautiful place I've ever seen! It was built in a small valley with mountains/hills all around it, so it's impossible for it to grow any bigger, and the entire city is like a historic downtown zone with great shops everywhere, open air markets, and taco stands. If I had to choose, I'd go back there before traveling anywhere else. This weekend we have a free weekend to stay home and do whatever we want (yay!) which will include sleeping and shopping for me. I know there must be millions of other things to say, but I can hear my homework calling me from the other side of my room, so for now that's it! Nos vemos!