2 weeks

I can't decide if I'm more excited to go home, or if I'm more sad to leave here. It's been such a crazy 4 weeks, and only 2 to go. It has definitely been busier than I imagined. Between classes from 8:30-2 every day of the week and weekend trips every weekend (except this one, yay!) I haven't had a single moment to process exactly what I've been doing here, and how I've been feeling about it. The first week is now a complete blur of trying to communicate with my family, starting classes that I thought were too advanced for me, stumbling on my words when ordering food in spanish, and running down buses that won't stop for white girls with backpacks. I wish I had written more so that I could go back and read it all, hoping it would come back to my memory. I remember the awe and shock of Mexico City when we first arrived, and the dread of being back on our first weekend trip. It wasn't the city so much that I disliked, it's beautiful and I've never seen such elegant buildings anywhere else. It was the people, 24 million of them to be exact, the smell of rotted trash and sewage that lingers everywhere, the smoggy heat that leads to sticky skin, but no sun because it's hiding behind the pollution. Our weekend trip (8/5-7) was a jumble of pyramids, hotels, museums, murals and restaurants. It was a very go, go, go, no time to stop, no time to think type weekend, and I barely had time to realize I was seeing, in person, some of the art works I had always wanted to see. Our second weekend trip, the one to Guanajuato, was definitely well-remembered. I know with every fiber in my being that I will be back to that town. It was the most gorgeous place I've ever seen, and it had a certain charm about it that was indescribable.
I really wish I could sit in Mexico and just soak up spanish like I could a sun tan. I am feeling a bit of regret over not pushing my spanish-speaking limits as far as I know I could have, but once I'm in the moment, it's a little terrifying to do, especially when I'm far too worried about making mistakes. I know they happen anyway, but it's hard to allow whenever possible. It's far easier to stay silent at times than try  to communicate things I don't know how to communicate. My vow to myself at this point, with two weeks left, is to push myself harder. With speaking spanish, with studying and doing homework, with spending time with my family, with everything I have been trying to do, but not doing to my full capacity. Let's see how things turn out two weeks from now!